Thoughts

death positivity & the vintage lifestyle

It’s been a few years since I first discovered the death positive movement through Caitlin Doughty’s Youtube channel, Ask A Mortician, and I’ve spent a lot of that time thinking about the connections between death positivity and the people I know who love vintage things. So this is a little bit different of a post for me, but I wanted to talk a little bit about that today and hear your feelings too.

If you’re not familiar with the term, the “death positive” movement is basically about accepting death as a natural part of life and working (whether personally or politically) against the prevailing social desire to hide and ignore anything about death. It’s the idea that being open and honest about death and our feelings or desires around is healthier than spending your whole life secretly worrying about it and pretending it won’t happen. You can find more details at The Order of the Good Death.

Being into vintage certainly doesn’t make someone death positive, but I think on the whole there’s more of an awareness and acceptance of death within the vintage-loving community. We go to estate sales and antique shops, knowing that the original owner of a dress or vase is probably gone. We treasure old photographs of people we knew and people we didn’t, relatives or just long-lost strangers. We draw inspiration from the stars of decades past, many of whom passed long ago, often before their time.

In many ways, death is an inescapable part of vintage style and fashion, and I like it that way. One of my favorite things about bringing home a vintage piece is the knowledge that I’m giving it a new life. I like to wonder about who owned it before me, especially if it’s something kitschy or quirky – were they as charmed as I am by this lady head vase? How many Christmases did this sweet little bottlebrush tree see? Honoring and loving these pieces is a small, simple act of memorial, even for people I didn’t know. I like the idea that one day someone, maybe someone who I never met, will hold something I love and wonder about me.

In a vintage hair group I’m in, it’s pretty common for women to share photographs of themselves recreating a style their mother or grandmother wore. It’s such a lovely, creative way to make a connection to a loved one, bringing the past and the present together. I think tributes like that are a great way to to remember or even grieve in a very productive way. It lets us walk in the shoes of someone who’s gone, re-enacting part of their daily life in our own way.

I don’t really have a thesis statement here, honestly…it’s just something that I’ve been dwelling on and wanted to share. I think it’s important to think and talk about death without being labeled “morbid,” and I love how many fellow vintage lovers have embraced collecting & enjoying vintage clothes, items, and aesthetics as a way to honor those who have passed. What do you think?

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3 Comment

  1. Reply
    Sharon
    April 4, 2019 at 10:41 am

    I think as you lose loved ones and actually go through the process of watching an individual die… be it from illness or old age but being present in that moment and watching what the individual goes through… and being there at the death bed this can make one become accepting of death…If you’ve ever had a conversation w a dying person letting them know it’s ok to leave this world. I think of this and I say… when the time comes, I’ll be ready.
    I believe it’s more to do with experiences but because I love vintage and attend many estate sales, I certainly feel the need to unload many of my treasures because I see myself becoming an estate sale…

  2. Reply
    Chelsea Celaya
    May 11, 2019 at 12:49 am

    I agree whole-heartedly. I feel fortunate that my mom has always tried to raise myself and my sisters to have that positive perspective of death and I feel so lucky to have married into a Mexican family where death has a very positive spin and becomes this beautiful celebration. I feel embracing that vintage style carries a similar feel on a smaller, more private scale. You put it into words best and I’m going to be saving this for when discussing this topic with my little one as she reaches that age.

    1. Reply
      Penny Snark
      May 11, 2019 at 6:09 pm

      That’s an awesome background in death positivity! I’m touched that this rang true for you.

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