Beauty, Thoughts

an ode to buffy summers

I came to Buffy the Vampire Slayer in a weird way, but when I fell, I fell hard. My later high school years were entirely devoted to Buffy in a way that, in retrospect, was probably slightly concerning. But some very few shows or books or movies have that kind of effect of you, and when you find one…you gotta hold on tight. So today, we’re going to talk a little bit about why I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I want to start off by saying that Buffy isn’t a perfect show. Especially looking back on it with 2018 eyes, there are definitely things I would change and things that I wish it did better, particularly in regard to diverse characters. So though we’re about to get a little bit gushy, just wanted to throw that caveat out there!

I was definitely late to game with Buffy…I was a little bit on the young side for the show, and my parents didn’t really let my sister and I watch violent/scary TV growing up. I vaguely remember a friend from school calling me to watch the last few minutes of the Buffy series finale with her, because she was too emotionally overwrought to do it alone…so I actually saw the end of Buffy way before the beginning. That was at the end of my freshman year, and I don’t totally remember if I immediately jumped into watching the syndicated reruns on FX or if that was a little ways down the line…either way, when I realized that FX was about to loop around back to the beginning, I was prepared. FX aired two episodes of Buffy every day, and I started taping them. I ended up with a shelf in my closet with 24 VHS tapes containing the entirety of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (144 episodes, 6 hours per tape). I bought the Watcher’s Guides, I bought the Sunnydale yearbook, I bought unofficial fanbooks, collections of fan essays, and official tie-in novels. After I fell in love with Buffy, I rewatched the entire series with my sister. And then I went to college…and I rewatched the entire series with my friends (by that point I had upgraded to the DVD sets).

All this to say, ya girl has some serious feelings about a certain Sunnydale cheerleader. I think I didn’t really understand at the time how and why she was so important to me…I was always very taken with the idea that Buffy was this feminine, girly type who was also incredibly tough and capable. Which is funny, because at that point in my life I definitely would not have described myself as girly, and I don’t think anyone else would have either. I guess my inner girly side was reaching out, because I still love this character who is tough as nails…but also doesn’t want to break a nail. She’s a character who has an incredibly big, compassionate heart, and also one who suffers so much.

I’ve always been more of a character-driven person than a plot-driven one, and though Buffy definitely has a Monster of the Week format, the heart of the show was always its characters and their relationships. It’s the fact that you do come to love these characters so much that the dramatic moments have the impact that they do – even thinking about random scenes have my heart aching a little bit…even though it’s been too long since I rewatched the show, I’m definitely still emotionally entwined with the Scooby Gang and everyone from Sunnydale. The show is obviously very widely regarded for it’s quips and humor, and I know I’ve adopted a ton of lingo and references from Buffy. (That’ll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!)

After all of that, I’m sure it makes perfect sense that I’ve spent years daydreaming about a Buffy tribute tattoo. And I finally got one.

Aesthetically, I’m absolutely in love with this tattoo…it took me a while to work out how I wanted to represent Buffy in a way that was visually appealing and aligned with my style (no logo tatts, thanks), but Beata did an amazing job. It’s soft and moody, feminine but a little dangerous too.

A few people have reacted to the quote by saying it’s kind of dark, which is funny, because to me, it’s definitely inspirational. “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.” I’ve actually had a print with this quote on my desk for years, so I felt like I’d lived with it long enough to be sure that I wanted it on me. For me, this is a bittersweet reminder that nothing is harder than life itself. When things seem bleak or dark, the only thing you need to do is the only thing you can do: just keep living. The original line from The Gift is echoed in one of my personal fave episodes, Once More With Feeling, with Spike’s, “Life’s not a song. Life isn’t bliss. Life is just this…it’s living.” Obviously all of that is way too long for a single tattoo, but I always think of those lines as bookends together. To some people that might sound kind of dramatic or even fatalistic, but I’m someone who has a tendency to put a lot of pressure on myself and hold myself to unrealistic expectations. It’s very soothing for me to remind myself that all I have to do, day by day, is just live.

Buffy has made a permanent imprint on my heart. It’s made me laugh and cry andย feel so many times, and I’m glad to have such a beautiful tribute to it as part of the outside of me.

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4 Comment

  1. Reply
    Emily Kitsch
    April 24, 2018 at 12:07 pm

    Love this post and I LOVE the tattoo! I’d been thinking lately that I really want to re-watch Buffy and this post just reaffirmed that! I’m going to have to find it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Reply
      Penny Snark
      April 24, 2018 at 3:02 pm

      Thanks so much! Now that I’ve been thinking about it so much, I’m totally dying to rewatch

  2. Reply
    Miranda (@spkyhalloween)
    April 25, 2018 at 11:05 am

    What a beautiful tribute to such an amazing story! ๐Ÿ™‚ I love the design you came up with for the tattoo and love your connection to Buffy. I remember watching it when it first aired, but as I got more busy in high school I tapered off. I’ve been slowing rewatching the series on Hulu. It’s now my summer goal to finish it!

    1. Reply
      Penny Snark
      April 25, 2018 at 3:58 pm

      Thanks lady! <3 I can't stop looking at it all the time...

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